Love One Another as I Have Loved You

It was a lovely experience to prepare for this message which I delivered today, Easter Sunday. I chose my clothing carefully today for an extra boost of confidence since my body gets nervous/excited when I speak: a white blouse and yellow jacket given to me by Mom; a grey and blue scarf given to me on my 22nd birthday while I was a missionary in Nantes, France; the skirt I wore home from my wedding reception; and a pair of grey ankle boots, another gift from Mom. Axie was my fashion consultant, Michael gave me a blessing to help me be calm and to prepare well, and at church, Scott played organ for the congregation, while Ethan played piano for the choir. I was clothed in love, literally and figuratively.

Happy Easter! We are here to commemorate the life, the teachings, and the Atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ in Gethsemane and on the cross, and to celebrate his Resurrection. He is risen! He lives and loves us! 

Christ came as the embodiment of love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whoso believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).  On the last night of his mortal life, Christ washed the feet of his disciples and gave them a new commandment, “That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). 

“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:11-13). 

Despite our understanding and belief that He loves us, we are not always full of joy. Sometimes we feel alone, anxious, hurt, angry, or disappointed. We sorrow. We feel regret. We suffer, sometimes as a consequence of our own behavior and choices, sometimes because of the words and actions of others, and sometimes simply because we are mortal beings in a mortal world. We are wounded. 

Have you ever felt alone in a crowd? Last Saturday, my girls and I went to participate in a 5k. Waiting for the race to begin, with 2000 other race participants, I stood by myself. Emily had gone to the very front of the race, and Axie was running with a friend. I looked around and felt like I was the only person standing alone. I wasn’t upset -because I like to run - but I did feel like I was missing out as I saw people laughing and taking selfies together.

Soon the race started, and I was in motion. After a little while, I could see Axie and her friend ahead and decided to try to catch up. Suddenly, on my right, I noticed a  little girl. She was walking and tears were rolling down her cheeks. I slowed down to walk with her: “What’s wrong?” “I want my mommy!” We walked together for a few minutes. I knew that we could find her mom. The race route doubled back, so that there were people ahead of us in the race going past us in the other direction. “Keep your eyes on this side and tell me if you see your mom, “ I instructed her. After a few minutes, she ran to a woman running towards us who was waving and smiling. It was her mom, and they went off together in the other direction. I was alone again in the race, but I didn’t feel alone any more. 

1st John 3 records: Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Years ago, my friend Henry cared for his mom in her last hours. They were alone at home when she died, around midnight, but his friends were aware of the situation. One friend in particular texted him about every 20 minutes all night until his mom’s body was collected, around 5 am. “You doing ok? Do you need anything?” Henry was grateful for that support, and years later, he learned from another friend, that the friend texting him had driven 40 minutes to park outside Henry’s house, just in case he needed more tangible support. This is love in deed. 

In a beautiful minor aria sung by an alto voice, accompanied by intertwining oboe voices and continuo, Bach sets to music St. John’s Passion. (You may have to wait a few seconds before the aria starts. I seem to only get it to start in the middle of the recitative.)

German text	English translation
Von den Stricken meiner Sünden	To untie me
Mich zu entbinden,	from the knots of my sins,
Wird mein Heil gebunden.	my Savior is bound.
Mich von allen Lasterbeulen	To completely heal me
Völlig zu heilen,	of all blasphemous sores,
Läßt er sich verwunden.	He allows Himself to be wounded.

In Christ’s appearances to his disciples after his resurrection, his wounds are very important. My favorite account is from the Book of Mormon, telling of Christ’s appearance on the American continent: 

“Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world. And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me... Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world” (3 Nephi 11:10-11,14).

We recognize him by his wounds. They are a tangible representation of his love for us. What then should we make of our own wounds? To answer that, let’s revisit the New Testament. 

Mark 15 tells us that present at the crucifixion: “There were also women looking on afar off: among whom was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the less and of Joses, and Salome... and many other women which came up with him unto Jerusalem.” They watched him suffer and die, their friend, teacher, and healer. There is very little worse than watching someone you love who is in pain and knowing you are unable to do anything about it. These women clearly had their own wounds. But, Mark tells us in the next chapter: 

 1 And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him.

2 And very early in the morning the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the sun.

They came to the tomb because they saw a need; they wanted to further care for the body of Jesus. In other words, they were hoping to care for the wounds of another, and in doing so, they became the first witnesses of the resurrection. 

Likewise, we must learn to see each other’s wounds. We have to look away from ourselves, and look with love rather than judgment, in order to see another person’s wounds. We slowly become like the Savior as we learn to see as he sees, for “when our Savior, Jesus Christ, looks upon us, He sees and understands the pain and burden of our sins. He sees our addictions and challenges. He sees our struggles and afflictions of any kind—and He is filled with compassion toward us” (Elder Peter Meurs, He Could Heal Me, April 2023 General Conference). 

Christ sees our wounds, and he can heal each one of us. 

Elder Meurs continues: 

The Savior’s healing and redeeming power applies to accidental mistakes, poor decisions, challenges, and trials of every kind—as well as to our sins. President Russell M. Nelson taught: “When the Savior atoned for all mankind, He opened a way that those who follow Him can have access to His healing, strengthening, and redeeming power. These spiritual privileges are available to all who seek to hear Him and follow Him.”

...whether [we] are carrying the burden of unresolved sin, suffering because of an offense committed against [us] long ago, or struggling to forgive [ourselves] for an accidental mistake, [we] have access to the healing and redeeming power of the Savior Jesus Christ."

We can participate in healing the wounds of the people around us, and as we do this, we are doing the work of Christ and slowly becoming like Him. Elder Garrett W. Gong taught us last week: 

We become more like Jesus Christ when we do “unto … the least of these” as we would unto Him, when we love our neighbor as ourselves, when we “love one another; as I have loved you,” and when “whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister.”  

Jesus Christ ministers. Angels minister. Followers of Jesus Christ “minister one to another,” “rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep,” “watch over [and] … nourish [the people] with things pertaining to righteousness,” “remember … the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted,” let His name be known through our ministry. As we minister as He would, we witness His miracles, His blessings.  

Sometimes, the wounds which are slowest to heal are wounds which we have inflicted ourselves. I remember the words of my Stake President, Richard Robb, who has since passed to the other side. He told me, as I was leaving on my mission, “When you remember your sins, allow that memory to turn you to the miracle of Christ and to fill you with gratitude and love.” 

I close with a quote from our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson:

"When He suffered for our sins and weaknesses, died on the cross, and rose again, the Savior rewrote humanity’s story. Because of Him, we do not have to deal with our frailties, sins, and fears alone. Because of Him, death is not the end. Resurrection will come to all who have ever lived. Because of Him, families can be together forever. Because of Him, guilt becomes peace, regret becomes relief, and despair becomes hope. We are given second chances, clean slates, and new beginnings. Because of Jesus Christ, we celebrate Easter. And Easter is all about peace and hope."

May you feel peace and hope today and share that peace and hope all your days is my prayer.  

A New Heart

I was asked to speak in our Sacrament meeting on Easter Sunday. This is more or less what I said, with a few links added and some sentences edited for clarity. My talk was based in part on the talk Behold, the Lamb of God by Elder Jeffrey Holland.

Last November, a sweet baby girl entered the world. She was welcomed by her mom, her dad, a big brother, and a big sister. In February, at age three months old, her mom took baby Alizee to the doctor because she was pale, coughing, crying, and not growing much. The doctor discovered that she had a critical heart malformation that would require surgery to repair. Alizee was hospitalized for a time, and then a month later, hospitalized again. Unfortunately, in her home country of Belize, pediatric open-heart surgery is not available. Even if it were, the cost would far surpass anything that her parents could ever afford.  

Thankfully for Alizee, her case was referred to a non-profit organization called HeartGift. Alizee and her mother arrived in San Antonio in April. They stayed with a host family who provided a place to stay, meals, rides to appointments, and emotional support before and after Alizee’s hospital stay. Alizee was able to receive treatment and surgery by a medical team who donated their time, at a hospital that donated tens of thousands of dollars, to mend her broken heart and give her a new life with her family in Belize.

Alizee going home from the hospital

I see in Alizee’s experience the story of each of us. Christ’s Atonement, his crucifixion, and his resurrection, which we celebrated with all Christian faiths during Holy Week and Easter, mend our broken hearts and give us new life now and the promise of eternal life in our heavenly home with our Heavenly parents, paying the price that justice demands, a price we could never hope to afford.

The plan was prepared from before the creation of the world. We would need a way to overcome physical death and the separation from God that would come about through the fall, a deliberate choice of Adam and Eve to bring us into this world, a necessary step in our journey back to God and becoming like him.

After the fall, Adam and Eve were taught to sacrifice the first of their flock, a type or symbol of Christ, who would come: the Lamb of God. Abraham’s almost-sacrifice of Isaac, the continued sacrifice of a perfect first-born lamb in ancient tabernacles and temples, and the Passover offering of the children of Israel to escape the 10th plague of the death of the firstborn all pointed towards Christ, the Lamb of God.

This title, Lamb of God, testifies of his greatest act, the infinite sacrifice he made of himself. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son; that whosever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). It was prophesied by all the prophets, as their purpose was to turn those who heard them to Jesus Christ. Christ’s sacrifice fulfilled the Law of Moses and changed what he asks of us. To the believers in the new world, Christ taught:

"And ye shall offer up unto me no more the shedding of blood; yea, your sacrifices and your burnt offerings shall be done away, for I will accept none of your sacrifices and your burnt offerings. And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost. . . Behold, I have come unto the world to bring redemption unto the world, to save the world from sin" (3 Nephi 9:19-21).

We are thus commanded to offer to him a broken heart and a contrite spirit. We make this offering when we take the Sacrament each week in this meeting, called our most sacred hour. Elder Holland taught us to remember, as those little cups of water are passed to us, that Christ drank the most bitter cup. Was he afraid? Did he know how excruciating would be his agony in the Garden, how lonely and difficult would be his task? Maybe a more relevant question to ask is how can I show him that I accept his love and honor his sacrifice? How can I keep my promise to always remember him? How can I “cast away my transgressions and make me a new heart and a new spirit” (Ezekiel 18:31)?

In Doctrine and Covenants 59: 5, I think it is no coincidence that Christ teaches the early modern saints about the two great commandments: "to love the Lord with all thy heart, with all they might, mind and strength; to love thy neighbor as thyself."

And then in vs 8: "Thou shalt offer a sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in righteousness, even that of a broken heart and a contrite spirit."

One way that we prepare for the Sacrament and offer in sacrifice our broken hearts is by acting in Christ's place, loving and serving our neighbor, and providing evidence to God that we are his. King Benjamin teaches,

"And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you--that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God--I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants" (Mosiah 4:26).

I want to add that if you are at home with your kids, you are feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. Your children, your family, they are also your neighbors. They are your people. Ministering to your family is ministering.

When we act in his place here, as his hands, as his ears, giving words of comfort, this transforms us, as he promised to the Israelites:

"...ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them" (Ezekiel 36: 26-27).

Another way to always remember him is to involve him, through prayer, in our life. Alma instructs his son Helaman:

". . . cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God. . ." (Alma 37:36-37).

King Benjamin teaches us that God “is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another” (Mosiah 2:21). Every breath can be a reminder of God’s love for you.

Lastly, look for him in your life. If you look for him, you will find him, everywhere. Every day can be a celebration of Christ’s atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection, when you see him in your life. In Jeremiah 29, the Lord speaks to the captive Jews in Babylon through the prophet Jeremiah: "And ye shall seek me and find me when ye shall search for me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13).

There is evidence of him in all of creation. Let all things remind you of him and his love. Christ is in the wildflowers, in the rising of the full golden moon, in fields of tall grasses, in the cool morning air.

Wildflowers after a morning run

He is in the birdsong. He is in the innocent curiosity of children, in the wide-eyed alert observations of a baby, even in the sometimes belligerent choices of teenagers learning to use their agency. Let all these things fill our hearts with gratitude to God. And when we cry over the horrible events that happen every day in our world, and experience physical pain and shattering loss, let us remember, as Elder Holland said, “that Christ died from a heart broken by shouldering entirely alone the sins and sorrows of the whole human family.” He knows our pain and understands our loss.

My hope today is that we will look forward to his return and prepare as did those of old, that we will better prepare our hearts as an offering to him, that we will always remember him, and that we may have his spirit to be with us, always.

A God of Miracles

Written in April 2010 for One Eternal Round: 

A few years ago, it was not uncommon for me to feel beaten down. As the mother of two preschool boys, it seemed like the dishes and the laundry were never done, and the house was always messy. My husband was in grad school and was also serving as the bishop.  I was lonely, I was tired, and I was grouchy. I worried that my bad temper would have lasting negative effects on my family. One day, I opened my scriptures and read Alma 26. Though I had read this chapter many times, verses 26 and 27 had a new meaning to me, and I read them with my own interpretation:

“But behold, my beloved, we came into the wilderness of parenthood not with the intent to destroy our children, but with the intent that perhaps we might teach them and love them and prepare them for their life missions.  Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said, Go amongst thy children, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.”

Reading those verses connected me to Him. I knew that He knew my struggles and frustrations. I felt less alone in my efforts as a mother.  My short fuse became a little longer, at least for that day. It was a small miracle.

It always amazes me that God knows me and is aware of my needs and wants. Last Friday, I lost my keys and looked EVERYWHERE for them. I looked again on Saturday; I looked again on Sunday. On Sunday evening, after our marriage and family class at church, my husband inadvertently locked HIS keys in the car. There we were, stuck  – mom, dad, 2 boys, and an infant in a car seat with no stroller. We could have walked home, but we had no way to get in to our apartment. We’re the apartment managers, and our friend with a spare key was out of town. Outside in the parking lot, my husband prepared to call roadside assistance to break in to the car and retrieve the keys.  Inside the church, I put down the diaper bag and decided to look again, taking things out. Here are the wipes, here are the extra sleepers, here are the diapers, here is my planner, HERE ARE MY KEYS!!!! I shrieked with delight and ran out to the parking lot. My husband had just uttered a silent prayer. We were saved.

I know that sometimes there is no instant miracle. Sometimes things don’t work out right away. People get locked out, become sick, lose jobs, have accidents, ruin relationships, and suffer, but in the end, things work out. I really believe this. Romans 8:28 says it well: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Do you believe in miracles? Please share your stories, if you feel so inclined.

Gratitude and Pain

I originally wrote this in 2010 for One Eternal Round. I stumbled across it today and want to save it here. 

A few weeks ago, I got sick. It came on steadily throughout the day. I felt tired and miserable. My body ached. When DH got home, he sent me to bed. As I laid there, I started identifying where I felt pain. My waist hurt. My toes hurt. My belly button hurt. My elbows hurt. My knees and wrists hurt. All the places in between hurt. As I was lying there feeling sorry for myself, my thoughts broadened. Some people are in constant pain because of illness or disease. I felt both grateful and ashamed – grateful that pain was rare in my life, ashamed at how much more good I could be doing with my health and energy. I remembered Christ, whose pain in Gethsemane was so exquisite that He shed drops of blood. I thanked him silently for His sacrifice and for the love that motivated it. In this mindset, I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was much better – still tired, but not in pain.

I write about this because I want to remember it. It seems like I don’t fully appreciate my comfort until I feel pain. It seems like, at least in my life, pain and gratitude are linked.  I wonder how many other blessings I don’t recognize because they have always been there.

Is pain useful in your life? How do you help yourself to recognize blessings?

RSBC 2018: Week 4

My totals for the glorious month of RSBC:

Running: 20.8 miles 

Swimming: 0.6 miles  

Biking: 23.5 miles 

I did not get close to Ironman distances. I did have a good time, learned some things, and, for the first month ever, did something in each of the four areas. Can't wait for next year! Thanks, Christy and Kara!